Oh, See

With some leftover pad thai and a diet coke, it's time to watch last night's OC.

Sandy is being REALLY tough on Ryan. He must really be missing his quality time with the honey. That whole, "You need to think of a way to get out of this hole you've dug for yourself" thing. Man! I felt like I was 13 and just missed my own Bar Mitzvah dinner. (Actually happened, by the way. It takes a special kind of person to miss their own Bar Mitzvah dinner.)

Is Jimmy Cooper on Star Trek?? What's the deal with that cell phone earpiece?? Couldn't they get him one of those Bluetooth things?

New Dean is a DICK!! And he's totally banging Taylor Thompson. Probably already, but if not, it'll happen by the time Seth decides to wear a shower curtain to Harbor High's Halloween party. New Dean will be dressed like a skeleton, and Mr. Myagi is going to kick his ass in some parking lot.

Jimmy wants to marry Julie on Saturday. Caleb's will must be read on Monday. Close. Friday. After the will was read and Julie didn't get a dime, Jimmy looked like he was trying to sneak out after a one-night stand before the girl whose name he doesn't know wakes up. (Um, not that I know what that's like.) He's such a scumbag. I almost don't feel sorry for him after seeing him get forced into Jonesy's SUV like Tom Hagen in the Godfather. "Relax, consiglieri. If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already."

Jeri Ryan belongs on Days of Our Lives or something. I'm so impressed by her conniving-ness. Now it's time for some partial nudity. At least a bathing suit. Give me something!! I LOVE that the cabin isn't really her dad's, and that her check for the rental didn't clear. She and Jimmy must have the same banker.

Ryan and Marissa getting ready to have sex pales in comparison to Donna and David's ordeal. Call me crazy, but it's just not the same. Especially while the scenes are cut with other scenes of MILF goddess Kirsten checking into a seedy hotel with a bottle of vodka as "Mr. and Mrs. Stolichnaya," and Jimmy getting the Ralphie Treatment down by the docks. Just a bunch of weird stuff, set to the requisite indie ballad.

Damn, Jimmy got served down there. When Marissa went to see him on the boat after she woke up deflowered, his face looked, in the immortal words of Charlie Murphy (Chappelle's Show, Season 2, Bonus Disc, "I Want More" story), like a pizza. Somebody took him to the brick oven. Looked like Marcellus Wallace might have gotten his hands on him or something.

And, to be filed under "I loved this about last week's episode but forgot to mention it": I loved that Marissa was wearing a hoodie under a leather jacket when they went to crash the carnival, looking like Ryan when he first arrived in Newport, then got expelled from school on the spot. It was almost as if she was being expelled for her outfit.