Hey, Zeus!

One of my favorite dialogue exchanges in movie history takes place between Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard 3.



Samuel L. Jackson: Why do you keep calling me 'Jesus'? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
Bruce Willis: Guy back there called you 'Jesus'.
Samuel L. Jackson: He didn't say 'Jesus'. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
Bruce Willis: Zeus?
Samuel L. Jackson: Yeah, Zeus. As in father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

Things might not have gotten as heated between them as they did had this guy been there to help clear things up. I saw this license plate in the parking lot at Trader Joe's tonight and couldn't resist the urge to get a picture of it, and it immediately made me think of the above quotes.

Crawfish Bread and Warm Beers

The 2006 Jazz Fest poster was unveiled today. Looks pretty damn cool, if you ask me. Amanda and I went to a day of Jazz Fest last year and the year before, and it was a lot of fun, but it's killing me that I can't go this year. This is the year to go, if for no other reason than to spend some time in New Orleans. Also, to spend some money in New Orleans. Nothing helps a local economy like local spending. Trickle-down economics at its best. Thanks, Ronald Reagan.

They haven't announced the lineup yet for this year's Festival, but it's supposed to come out some time in February. If you're in the area, or even anywhere near the area, I urge you to go. You're sure to have a great time, and you'll also have the added benefit of really helping a struggling community's economy.

You can buy the 2006 Jazz Fest poster here. I don't know what percentage, if any, of this year's proceeds are going to any recovery-related efforts, but I might get one and donate an equal amount, just to be on the safe side.

The Honeymoon Is Nowhere Near Over

I don't seem to get too much in the way of comments when I post anything at all about the Rose Bowl, the Longhorns, or Vince Young. You know what? I don't really care. I'm still just so damn excited about the whole thing. Every time I see a picture or a video or anything having to do with the Longhorns winning the National Championship, I get all worked up, like it just happened. Probably what a girl feels like when somebody gives her some diamond necklaces. Heh, heh. Sorry, had to squeeze that one in.

But hey, how 'bout those Longhorns, huh?

All You Want to Do Is Kick It In

Amanda and I saw INXS last night at the Gibson Amphitheatre at Universal. Looks like our boy J.D. might be a Texas fan, while drummer Jon Fariss looks to be among the USC faithful. I wonder if they watched the Rose Bowl together. (note: I did not take this picture. We were nowhere near this close.)



Anyway, the concert was awesome. The opening act was Rockstar: INXS runner-up Marty Casey and his band, which was unfortunately named "The Lovehammers." Sounds like the not-too-subtlety exhibited by bands like KISS and AC/DC. Didn't work too well for Marty. The band pretty much sucked. We only saw three songs of theirs, including his song "Trees" from the show, which wasn't really played too well, and a cover of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," which was absolutely horrible.

Between Marty and INXS, I went down to the lobby to get a couple of beers, and I saw Rockstar: INXS also-ran, Brandon, who placed like 8th or 9th on the show, in the lobby signing autographs and mugging for pictures. I guess he stretched his 15 minutes into like 18 or 19. He's pretty tall.

INXS finally took the stage and played for almost two hours, I think. They were awesome. We had a really good time, though I think I enjoyed it more than Amanda did. J.D. was really doing a great job up there with the band, and they played a really great show. Just a kick-ass show. Before they came on, we made friends with some of the folks sitting behind us, two guys in their fifties named Tim and Laird, and their wives. They loved us, I think b/c we made them feel young, and because we laughed at their jokes. Laird and I also talked a lot about the Rose Bowl and Vince Young, and I'm not even the one who brought it up. Anyway, they were partying pretty well, so I hope that when I'm in my fifties, and a band I really like holds a competition to find a new lead singer, then goes back on tour, I'm able to go see them in concert and party just as hard.

Here's the set list, which I'm sure is what you've all been waiting for.

Suicide Blond
New Sensation
Devil's Party
Mystify
Disappear
By My Side
Afterglow
Taste It
Original Sin
You Don't Belong to Me
Never Let You Go
Need You Tonight
What You Need
Kick
Devil Inside
Pretty Vegas

Encore:
The Stairs
Never Tear Us Apart
Don't Change

Forever Young

I still just can't get over this guy. Check out this video, it's INCREDIBLE!!
(It's a real video, by the way, not one of those random links I've been including, I PROMISE.)

The Double Feature

The first time I ever pulled a "double feature" at the movies was when Dad took Andrea and me to see Jewel of the Nile (the so-so sequel to Romancing the Stone). After the movie ended, we walked into the lobby, and Dad looked at the other side of the theater and noticed that Spies Like Us was about to start. He looked at us and said "You guys want to see another movie?" From then on, I was hooked.

I can't even remember all of the double features I've pulled since then. I can remember some. Last summer we did a bunch of 2 for 1's back in Jackson, which was fine, but where you really need to pull the double is in places like New York and LA, where movie tickets are over $10 a pop. I mean, come on. Do you really think Fantastic 4 is worth a full-price movie ticket? Me either. In November, we did Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Walk the Line. That was a great night, 2 really good movies. Last weekend we saw Munich and Glory Road. Another good combination of 2 really good movies, but that one gets bonus points, because there really aren't too many movies that you can follow up Munich with. You really need a feel-good Disney sports movie to balance out a long, dark movie about assassinations and terrorists and double-crossing and paranoia.

Once in New York, Jeremy and I pulled the legendary trifecta, when we saw American Wedding, Bad Boys 2, and S.W.A.T. back-to-back-to-back. That one was tough, we were in the theater for like 9 hours.

Last Summer, we saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and we spontaneously decided to stick around and see The Day After Tomorrow. That one doesn't really count, though, as during the previews of the second movie, Brandy snuck out of the theater and actually bought 3 more tickets b/c she felt guilty. Good girl, bad criminal.

Sometimes, the double feature can be spontaneous, like it was with Dad and Andrea that first time. Sometimes, it takes planning. Sometimes, it even takes Search Engine Optimization. No, it doesn't really, but I had to work that in here somewhere.

Any good double feature stories out there??

Selling Out, Vol. 4

I have gone commercial. I don't know how many of you noticed the random link in my last post, but I found this ad on Craigslist that actually pays you to put certain links into your blog posts. I am actually making money (though VERY little money) now, writing this blog. It's a little strange, but I think I can handle it. I can write about whatever I want, but as long as I put something in here, like vioxx lawyers, then I'm in like a dirty shirt.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on old Johnny Damon for seeing green. I guess the main difference, though, is that the money I'm making might - might - cover the price of a DVD or a few beers, whereas the money that he's making might cover the price of a company that makes DVDs or beers. Oh, and I didn't write a book about how I'm proud of not putting random links in my blog, then immediately jump ship for a little extra cheddar.

So, anyway, be on the lookout for a lot more random crap hanging around these blog posts. And, if you feel like it, click on one or two. You might not need legal representation in a pharmaceutical class-action, but you never know what might be out there.

In Your Honor

I decided to make this weekend my "In Your Honor" weekend.

For instance, in honor of Jack Bauer's triumphant Ali-like return to Prime Time in 24, I decided to drink some Jack Daniels while I watched, before heading over to some friends of ours' annual MLK weekend party.

In honor of such fallen heroes as Kurt Cobain, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, and many others, Amanda and I went to the Ecstasy: In and About Altered States exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art. All of the "pieces" and "installations" were either about drugs, made with drugs (or while on drugs, probably), or designed to simulate the feeling of being on drugs. It was actually really cool. The strangest thing I saw there was a fountain, in a large glass case that was not entirely inaccessible to the general public. Just a white fountain, with what looked like a small amount of water flowing through it. We walked over to the wall, though, to read the description, and were absolutely astonished to learn that it was not water flowing through the fountain, but LSD. LSD!! Probably one of the ten most mindblowing things I've ever seen.

And in honor of the aforementioned Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I decided to join a gym. I'm not sure what the connection is there, though I certainly feel like there might be one somewhere. Regardless, Amanda was happy. Not as happy as if I'd given her Valentine Flowers, but hey, it's a start.

It's Not About Winning and Losing, It's How You Play the Game

Actual conversation between Amanda and me on our way home from a rec league softball game last night (we got shellacked, just like every other game this season):

Amanda: Did you have a good time?

Me: Yeah, I did, it was really fun. It's amazing that I take so much pleasure from things that I'm so bad at.

Amanda: Like what?

Me: Like, singing. And softball. And most other sports.

(pause)

Amanda: What sports are you good at??

What's the Spread on the Game? Lakers by 6.

Tonight I made my debut at the Staples Center for the Laker game. My friend Warren clerks for a judge and he wound up with 4 tickets for tonight's game against the Pacers. Amanda had class, so he brought a co-clerk along with his wife, Lindsay, and me. Around 3:30 this afternoon, he called me with the location of our seats. Half-court. First row. Fairly unbelievable seats, maybe the best I will ever have in my life for any sporting event. The game was a lot of fun, I'm not much of a Laker fan, but when you're sitting that close, it's easy to root root root for the home team. Along the way we saw some folks you might recognize. Regardless of how it sounds, I was really hoping for an Adam Brody sighting, but no such luck. I had to settle for these guys instead.


That's us standing in front of our amazing seats. That's me on the left. Warren's the one in the Mardi Gras outfit.


The man, the myth, the legend. Jack Nicholson.


Tom Petty, looking pretty haggard. Looks like it might not be long until the Wilburys are playing a reunion show.


If my camera were worth a damn anymore, some of the other pics might have come out better. We also saw Donald Sutherland, as well as former Pacer and Cheryl Miller's little brother, Reggie.

I think the best part of the night for me, though, was when the Lakers came out at the end of halftime and started warming up, I caught former Longhorn Chris Mihm coming off of the layup line, and I was literally maybe 10 yards from him, so I stood up and screamed "Mihm!" and gave him the Hook 'Em sign. He smiled, nodded, and flashed it right back, proving once and for all that once you are a Longhorn, you are always a Longhorn.

Goodbye, and Good Luck. And if you want to see the rest of the pics, let me know and I'll email you the photo album link.

City of Pasadena to Be Renamed "Youngstown"

So, I just had to get this out there. I didn't have the energy to post about The Game and really get all of my thoughts out in a semi-articulate manner, but I had this to say in an email exchange with my buddy the other day. This dude's a fellow SEC man and one of Amanda's classmates at USC. For the record, we weren't upset with each other, though at times it looks that way, though I did find out later that he was just trying to egg me on, and, well, it worked.
___________________________________________________________________

My Initial Email (to a bunch of USC folks and a few of the Texas faithful):

to the naysayers, i have only this to say:

STOP BEING NAYSAYERS

to the rest of you, i have this to say:

HOOK EM, BABY!! WE ARE NUMBER F#*%&ING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

usc played one HELL of a game last night, but texas is just better. that's all there is to it. USC played an incredible season and an incredible game last night, both by matt leinart (who had about as perfect a second half as possible) and the forgotten superstar lendale white, who probably played himself into a top 10 pick should he leave school. hell, even the heisman trophy had almost 200 total yards, including 95 receiving yards, which is pretty good for a running back.

unfortunately, they were going up against a group of guys who just flat out wanted it more, led by the guy who maybe didn't deserve the heisman as much as reggie bush, based on the regular seasons they both had, but certainly deserved it more than the votes showed, and if they did the voting after the bowl games, like they should, there would be no question. the heisman trophy would be resting its weary head in austin, texas for at least a few more months, then possibly to houston or new orleans or green bay or whoever decides to grab vince in the draft. instead, vince didn't win the heisman, so he "settled" for the next best thing. singlehandedly kicking the collective asses of the "greatest college football team in history."

to be the best, you have to beat the best, there's no question about that. usc was the best, deserving of the #1 ranking all year, so i was glad that we had to go through them on our road to the top, otherwise it might not have meant as much. sort of like the red sox breaking through the yankees on their way to their first world series title in 86 years. either way, though, there should be absolutely NO question in anybody's mind that the longhorns are NOT to be dismissed, NOT to be ignored, VY's performance last night will go down in history as one of the probably 5 best single-game performances in NCAA history (along with reggie's heisman sealing 516 total yards against fresno state), and that the PAC-10 does NOT have what it takes to hang with the other major conferences (maybe the ACC), and that the streak is over.

'till gabriel blows his horn,
ben

My Friend's Response:

Um....I think that VY and Texas got lucky. They are not that good and that game was the biggest fluke of all time. If they played 10 more times it wouldn't even be close, USC would win every single one. VY can't hold a candle to Bush, Leinart, White or even Jarret. Young is slow, awkward and makes poor decisions. How he won that game, I'll never know. I almost want to review the game tape so I can figure it out.

As for being number one, I think it should be Penn State. Their incredibly impressive win over a healthy and talented FSU team in the Orange Bowl has convinced me that they should have been in that Rose Bowl, not a lousy team like Texas.

What a joke that game was. If I were a Texas fan I would be ashamed. Just ashamed of the way they played. USC practically laid down and tried to let Texas win and still it took a last second score by Young to win. Pathetic. Just pathetic.

That is all.

My Rebuttal to His Response:

first of all, let me address your erroneous recap of penn state's bowl game. i love penn state, my whole family went there before me (i'm the black sheep). they should have BLOWN AWAY florida state, who was unranked and lucked themselves into a BCS game by winning an inferior conference and by virginia tech blowing big games. penn state's win wasn't impressive, what was impressive was that florida state nearly won it with a much less talented team.

second of all, you need to go back and watch any game this season that texas played in, or any game last season. vince young does not get lucky, vince young is the human highlight reel. he might not have leinart's arm, but he still managed to pass for a paltry 267 yards, and leinart couldn't move like vince even if the payoff was a 3-way with jessica simpson and his boyfriend nick lachey.

vince might not have been the heisman winner this year, and bush definitely deserved it, largely due to his fresno state performance and vince's slow start against texas A&M, when we scored a measly 40 points and ended a perfect 11-0 regular season. the fact remains, though, that last night, vince blew away not only bush and every other player on the field (with a possible 8-10 nfl draftees this year), he blew away just about every player who has ever played college football. go back and watch the game (i have it on tivo if you want to come over). vince WILLED himself into the end zone time and time again, just like he did in the rose bowl last year against michigan, when the naysayers were whining about cal (CAL??) being left out.

not only that, but bush and white COMBINED only had 6 more rushing yards than VY. there was nothing about last night's game that was a fluke, except maybe bush coughing it up in the 2nd quarter. nobody expected that, least of all the guy he tried to pitch the ball to, who lost his chance to tell his grandkids that he was the first guy to congratulate bush on his first TD of the game of the century.

the only truly lucky thing texas got last night was that no-call on the knee down for the TD pitch, but even if he had been called down, it would have been first and goal from the 3. VY would have glided in on the very next play.

the other thing that we got lucky with was the RIDICULOUS coaching by USC. 4th and 2, to SEAL THE GAME. forget getting stuffed, that\'s not such a big deal. it happens to everyone. but to do it with your golden boy heisman winner sitting on the sidelines, not even in the game as a second option or even a DECOY, for crying out loud?? poor, poor coaching. that's what carroll was famous for in the NFL, and it's back to haunt him now. the second example of ridiculous coaching was that horrific play call on 1st and 10 with 0:08 left in the game, leaving leinart to scramble around and let your dreams of an illegitimate "three-pete" slip away (the only true mistake leinart made all night, by the way. even that interception was a good pass and 9 times out of 10 gets caught for 6.).

if you want to talk luck, talk about the fact that USC was even considered REPEAT national champions. their first one has an asterisk b/c it wasn't a BCS championship game. their second one has an asterisk b/c auburn was in the same position that USC was in when they "won"; their first one. you, as an SEC man, should know that. either way, their 2 titles were impressively played and they parlayed that into a season of infamy, but they couldn't finish it, and it's over. they're not even going to win the pac-10 next year, which is pathetic, and i'm glad i'll be around as a constant reminder of this game to all of you trojans next season. i fully intend to wear burnt orange every time i walk into the coliseum, to a tailgate, or even to sharkeez to watch one of those quidditch games on TV.

FIGHT ON
___________________________________________________________________

Ok, in retrospect, maybe I went a little overboard in that one. Like I said, neither of us were really upset with each other, he was egging me on purposefully, and I was having a blast screaming the praises of the Horns.

C-Listers Everywhere!!

This is mainly for my buddy BTA's amusement, but we went out to this bar tonight in West Hollywood called Barney's Beanery, and right before we left, I spotted this guy. On my way out, I told him that I thought he was "absolutely hilarious," at which point he shook my hand and said "Thank you, man."



That's Jonesy, from Reno 911, for those of you who didn't know.

Also, this was our waitress.

Talk about non-stop excitement. I don't know how I was able to contain myself. Not quite the same as bumping into Tom Cruise and Jessica Alba, but pretty close. Well, not really close at all, actually. But you play the hand you're dealt, I guess.

Best Game Ever

I'm not going to try to recap the game, or gush about VY's spectacular, historical, transcendent performance. What I will say is, "Wow." I have never been as instantly happy or excited as I was last night when the clock ticked down to 0:00.

Here are some pics from the tailgating and game watch.


My take on the "Without Sports, This Wouldn't Be Disgusting" ESPN Ads.


This banner was on a USC tent at the tailgate. So arrogant, and so foretelling.
The streak ends with Texas, no question about that.


This tailgate is brought to you by Bud Light and the Texas Longhorns. Those are my buddies Jeff (the "other Jeff", Kristin), Abram, me (the fat one, 3rd from your left) and Micah.


There have never been 2 guys enjoying their Beam and Cokes more than Jeremy and I were when this picture was taken.

Selling Out, Volume Three

Remember how excited I was when Amanda found out she got Rose Bowl tickets? Probably the most excited I've ever been in my life. Well, guess what. We sold them on eBay. Once we saw how much people were getting for these puppies, it was almost a no-brainer. Actually, it was probably the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, but in the end I realized two things. The first was that if we won the game, I'd be just as excited whether I was actually at the game or not (and I was probably 98 or 99% , if being there was 100), but if we lost and didn't sell, I would have been so pissed had we not gotten that cash. The second thing I realized was that I'd be a fool not to try to turn my $175 into the $900 I ended up pulling ($1800 for the pair). Garrett told me he was a bit disappointed in me as a Texas fan, and that's something I'm going to have to come to terms with.

I'll be thinking about that this summer when I'm deep into my 5th pina colada on the beach in Maui.