Sorry Folks, Bandwagon's Full

What do these three guys have in common? Evidently they're all Longhorn fans. McConaughey I can understand, b/c he was a student there once, and Armstrong lives in Austin, but Jake Gyllenhaal?? Come on. I haven't seen a bandwagon jump like this since I started rooting for the Spurs back in 2003. He even admits in the article that he's not even really a fan of college football at all but watches the big games. Yeah, that's dedication, man. And yes, I do realize that I sold my ticket to the Rose Bowl and went to Hawaii. I stand by my decision, so kiss my ass. You know who you are.

So, for the record, we've got Lance "Is it too late to reconcile with Sheryl Crow?" Armstrong, Matthew "Wooderson" McConaughey, Jake "Brokeback mother-f'ing Aquaman" Gyllenhaal, Chuck "Potato Sack" Norris, and Cowboy Troy (who might be the worst singer of all time). Marvelous. Is there any other crappy celebrity out there who hasn't pledged allegiance to a college football team that wants to get on board real quick, before it's too late? Seriously, we'll leave the doors open until gametime tomorrow. Maybe Kevin Dillon, Nicole Richie, Chris Parnell (nothing but love for you, Parnell), Kathy Griffin, and George Takei will show up on the sidelines sporting their burnt orange. Is it that hard to find somebody who is a better celebrity fan than Matthew McConaughey?? Really, he's our best one?? The rest of these punks can't even carry his jock.

(I just had to duck a roundhouse kick. Man, that thing came out of nowhere! Ok, I'm through ranting.)

HOOK EM!