Listening Back

(listening to: a few songs from each album listed below)

It's that time of year again. The time when everywhere you look somebody's giving you some sort of recap of the past year. Shoving the new nostalgia down your throats like it's some sort of panacea (look it up) that you've been waiting desperately for. The bastards.

Well, we here at Manifest Destiny aren't going to stand for it, and we will be doing nothing of the sort. After today. Probably.

I was talking with Neola earlier today, and she asked me if I'd made my top 10 list of 2005 albums yet. I hadn't, but of course, it got me thinking (and obsessing), so then I did. And here it is.

My Top Ten Albums of 2005:
10. Ryan Adams & The Cardinals - Cold Roses. This 2-disc set, in my opinion (and really, am I worried about anyone else's right now?) is his best work since his solo debut, Heartbreaker, but still not quite as good as the now defunct Whiskeytown's work with Adams at the helm. He's got a real talent for songwriting, and he's a really talented musician, but man, is he a horrible live performer. We saw him at Austin City Limits festival in 2004, and he was so f'ed up that he kept messing up his own songs! He's prolific enough (this was the first of 3 albums he put out this year!) that he could probably put out about 20 or so albums in the next couple of years, but unfortunately, he's just unstable enough to disappear completely after that, grow a Rip Van Winkle beard and live as a beach hermit somewhere until he's about 65, then show up out of nowhere to help Luke learn the ways of the force. Wait, that was Ben Kenobi. Oh, what the hell. I'm partial to Bens.

9. Coldplay - X&Y. Yeah, that's right, I put a Coldplay album in my top ten. So, maybe I am a wuss. I don't care, this is a good record, and who cares if Chris Martin is married to the beautiful Gwyneth Paltrow and has a healthy baby, the dude can flat out sing a depressing song, and it's no secret that I'm a sucker for depressing songs. I really like "Fix You" despite the fact that it's been in all of the King Kong commercials (yet appears nowhere in the actual movie). For my money, until "The Next U2" turns into "The Next Radiohead," if they put out a record, it'll most likely land in my top ten.

8. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better. This was the second album from these guys. Their first one (self-titled) was like a supernova, man, they were hotter than Hansel, and he is SO hot right now. It was awesome. This one is not as good, but is still good enough to be awesome, proving that they're not a flash in the pan. (Sort of like Interpol's sophomore offering, Antics.) Unfortunately, we missed seeing these guys at ACL last year, but we heard from friends that they were the best performance of the weekend. I don't doubt it. I'd imagine that I might need a Red Bull before one of their shows, b/c I don't dance - I hate it and think it's stupid most of the time - but these dudes just make me want to dance.

7. The Decemberists - Picaresque. This one is probably the biggest surprise out of the group. I had never even heard of this band until about two weeks ago, and I read an interview with them in "The Big Takeover" (which is, without exaggeration, the BEST music magazine I have ever seen. No fluff, no crap like Rolling Stone, they don't cover politics b/c they feel like they have to. They cover music b/c they are a music magazine. Cover to cover, every issue. I absorb every word. Even the editorials are great. Even the letters to the editor are great. Buy a copy, please. Or subscribe. It's only 20 bucks, that gets you four issues which come out about twice a year.). Anyway, it was an incredibly interesting interview, and the band sounded like one I might really like. Fortunately, this coincided nicely with my discovery of a free 50 downloads trial at eMusic, which doesn't have much of a selection, but guess what they did have? If you guessed this album, then you are clearly a genius. So, I downloaded the album for free, and I've probably listened to it about 20 times (no exaggeration) since. It's awesome. I LOVE finding new music. Thanks, Big Takeover!

6. Sleater-Kinney - The Woods. There aren't too many bands out there that rock harder than these chicks, and there are even fewer that do so with a Jewish guitarist/piano player. I don't have much that they've put out, but I've got a few, and this one measures up for sure. These chicks rock so hard they make me feel like I've rocked hard, and I don't think I have. Stay away if you don't like angry, loud music. If you like angry, loud music, come over to my place and we'll turn the speakers up to 11.

5. The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan. This is one that I liked, but didn't love, when I got it back in May, but man, did it grow on me. I still like this one more everytime I listen to it. Neola brought up a very good point while praising Jack White as "a gift to songwriting (I think those were her words)" in that he really does a phenomenal job of making this two-person garage band sound like a five-person ass-kicking powerhouse.

4. Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman. I don't know who Silverman is, but whoever he or she is, they got one hell of a record. Two of the best breakup songs in recent memory in "Give Judy My Notice" and "Landed," which is basically Billy Joel-good as a piano tune. Considering the fact that I didn't even know this record was coming out and only saw it by accident when I went to pick up Bruce Springsteen's Devils & Dust back in April then ended up liking this one about 1,000 times better, then yeah, I'll put this in my top ten, hands down. I also tend to gravitate toward anyone named Ben (see also: Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie, below).

3. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning. I don't know if this is a better record than all but two of the records that came out this year, but what I do know is, I sure liked it more than most of the records that have come out in the past year or more, and I listened to the hell out of it. This is what I said about it in a previous post. I thought it was worth reprinting here.

"This is one of the best albums I've gotten in years. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it might be one of the top 10 or 20 albums that I have ever owned. Conor Oberst is a better songwriter than most people out there who started making records after he was born. I think he's about 25. Yeah, one of the best songwriters of the past 25 years. I think I feel comfortable with that statement. He's in an elite group, and some of the other members are dead, so he really doesn't have much competition. This album effortlessly transports you to New York City and keeps you in good company during your angst-ridden nighttime journey. Bonus points for writing a song about an actual protest rally that caused such a major traffic jam that I actually got stuck in it and missed my bus to Boston one afternoon. That's not something I can say very often, that something immortalized in song, or in film, actually affected me when it happened."

2. Death Cab for Cutie - Plans. This is a damn good record, and I am going to exaggerate a little and say that this record will probably be responsible for making a few people's lives a little better (and I'm not talking about the band members). It's just that good, that calming. These dudes are just that in touch with their fans, I think, that for some people out there, they made a record that is the perfect record, and it's going to have that kind of effect on somebody somewhere.

1. Wilco - Kicking Television. Of course, I'm a little biased here, but that notwithstanding, this is a great live record to release. Their performances (judging by the four times I've seen them live) have been getting steadily better since I first saw them 3 years ago, and this record is good evidence that in the 10 months since I saw them last, they have continued to do so. It's quite possible that I like their music more than anyone in the world likes their music. I know that makes me sound like some sort of psycho stalker, but I'm really not.

Honorable Mention:
Gorillaz - Demon Days. That one song, "Feel Good, Inc." gets stuck in my head every couple of days, and it's impossible for me to hear anything else. That's pretty much the only reason I'm putting it here, other than the fact that it's pretty cool that this isn't even a real band, just a creation of some DJs and a good cartoonist.
Echo and the Bunnymen - Siberia. This is a pretty good album, but I'm not sure if it's good enough to make my top ten, especially since I've only been listening to it for about a week. I don't have any of their older stuff, but I'd love to check it out. This release sounds like it was heavily influenced by U2, which is exactly the opposite of what I imagine was the case 25 years ago when they both started putting out records.
Kanye West - Late Registration. Too much hype, combined with not enough of what made his first album great. I liked it a lot, but not enough to give it top ten props.
Bruce Springsteen - Devils & Dust. This makes the honorable mention list for the simple fact that when I got it earlier in the year, I hated it and pretty much decided not to listen to it again. Then one day, I popped it in out of sheer curiosity, and I really enjoyed it. Again, not more than the ten records that are on that list, but certainly enough to give it a shout here.
Better Than Ezra - Before The Robots. This one's not a bad album, not nearly as good as any of their first four, but probably better than the last one they put out in 2001. Bonus points for finally releasing the song "Hollow," which I had downloaded a live version of back in 2000 and instantly became one of my favorite songs of theirs. Now, hopefully, they'll start playing it at more shows.

Albums I haven't listened to but would probably be good enough to at least crack my Honorable Mention category, if not my Top Ten:
Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema
Turin Brakes - Jackinabox
Paul McCartney - Chaos and Creation in the Backyard
Common -Be
My Morning Jacket - Z
Nickel Creek - Why Should The Fire Die?
Ryan Adams - Jacksonville City Nights

Selling Out, Volume Two

Recognize this guy?



No? Maybe you remember how he used to look. Before he sold his soul to the devil.



Yeah, Johnny Damon rejected the offer of salary arbitration from the Red Sox, his beloved team, his band of merry idiots, not to mention the town that deified him, gave him ultimate superstar status, and signed with the New York Yankees. The Evil Empire. The pricks in the pinstripes. Now, there's nothing wrong with what the Yankees did here (other than the fact that they did it while lighting their cigars with $1,000 bills after killing a bunch of puppies). They signed a guy who hits like a son of a bitch and can run pretty fast. He's probably the premiere lead-off man in major league baseball. Hell, they could afford him, why not go for it?? Who did they have playing center as of 3 days ago? Bernie Williams. Now, I like Bernie Williams. I have always liked Bernie Williams. For years, Bernie's been the only Yankee I have liked. He just seems like the kind of guy who you could be at a cookout with, and when he gets up from the table, you could say, "Hey, Bernie, will you get me another beer?" He'd just smile and say, "Sure, man." Good guy. Probably.

Anyway, the fault here lies with the Red Sox, for not working harder to keep him around, and with Damon himself, for fleeing for greener pastures and greener pockets after spending the past few years EMBODYING the spirit and camaraderie of the Red Sox. Was it all an act?? Was the whole thing just a big facade (pronounced fuh-KAYD)?? He "wrote" a f'ing BOOK, for crying out loud!!! It was in his book deal that he couldn't shave his beard or cut his hair. Now he's wearing a pink bathrobe (seriously, take another look at that pink robe up there. it's hilarious and really sad at the same time. but mostly hilarious.) after getting a facial and probably a pedicure while he's at it?? Jesus! No, Judas!!

This was the email that I sent in response to Ilyssa's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" the other day (and I stand by my thoughts and feelings at the time, as they have not changed in the past 2 days):

i know, this is pretty ridiculous. the worst part is, this is bringing out some bad qualities in me.

i'm hoping for abysmal numbers, run-ins with asshole new yorkers that might end up in front of a jury of his peers, a high profile divorce after his plastic wife (who joins juwanna kidd as the hot new york athlete's wife who probably is exerting more behind the scenes pressure to go to/stay in new york than we really know about) gets caught on video and posted on some amateur porn website screwing some B&T (no offense) dude after being dosed at some U2 after-party at park bar.

but really, i'm not bitter.

now i understand how bostonians felt when clemens left. i never did, until now. and i refused (and still refuse) to dislike clemens because of it, but i do understand.

I just don't know, man. We lose that crazy bastard Manny Ramirez and we're gonna be eating the shit we're already neck-deep in after losing Theo, Damon, Millar and Mueller. At least we got rid of Edgar "30 errors" Renteria.

Music Is My Savior, I Was Named by Rock and Roll

I've been slacking. I am sorry. Let's start fresh.

This past weekend Amanda and I went to Las Vegas with her business school group, sort of a post-finals thing, and I spent some time talking to the boyfriend of one of her classmates, who has probably the coolest job of anyone I've met out here so far, or maybe anyone I've ever personally met. He's the equipment manager for Green Day. He's been friends with the band for 15 years, and he's been working with them for 10. He goes on tour with them, goes into the studio with them, hangs out with them. Really nice guy, and once Amanda told me what he did, I was immediately struck by the urge to annoy the crap out of him (well, hopefully I wasn't annoying, but who really likes talking about work when they're in Vegas??) by asking all kinds of questions and just talking music in general. I'm a huge fan of their last album, "American Idiot," and we spent a bit of time talking about that album (evidently he gets a pretty darn sizable cut of each CD sold, so the 8 million copies it's sold have given him a nice cushion). I tried not to kiss his ass too much, since I don't like kissing ass, and also since he didn't actually write any of the songs or play any of the instruments, but we got to talking about how the album is really an album, rather than just a collection of songs that most albums are these days.

The album as a collective work seems to be a lost art, but American Idiot is one of the best examples of that in recent history. The kind of album where the individual songs are good, but the whole thing together just makes so much sense and flows so well that you can't really listen to the songs individually anymore. In fact, if there were more than 2 or 3 good radio stations in LA, I'd probably change the channel when "Jesus of Suburbia" comes on roughly every 45 seconds, but unfortunately, there's just not much in the way of options to change to.

There are a handful of other albums that have come out lately, in the past year or two, that fit this mold. The mold established by The Beatles with "Rubber Soul" (my favorite, and possibly the first example of a concept album of all time) and "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band", by Pink Floyd with "The Wall", and by Bob Dylan with "Blonde on Blonde."

The new group of albums as collective works, rather than collections of songs, includes some new artists, some old artists, and some unlikely artists. I think that other than Green Day's American Idiot, the best examples of this type of album include the following (feel free to disagree or add to the list - I LOVE discussing this type of thing):

Death Cab For Cutie, "Plans" This was a ballsy major-label debut from one of the most deified indie bands of all time, and it's getting mixed reviews because some (maybe many?) shortsighted fans have put too much emphasis on the independent factor. It's not like they went out and collectively married Renee Zellweger, for crying out loud. They just made a great record that's going to be much more easily distributed, reaching many more people and hopefully expanding their already exponentially expanding fan base even more exponentially.

Brian Wilson, "Smile" This is one that I absolutely can not listen to any individual tracks without listening to the entire album. Probably the best example of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts that I have EVER seen. The tracks by themselves are good but not great, but the album is just mind-blowingly good. Never fails to put me in a really, really good mood.

Jay-Z, The Black Album Before you tell me how preposterous it might look to see a rapper's CD on this list of great recent albums, let me just tell you that if you don't think there's the possibility for this quality in all types of music, then you have no business listening to music. You don't have to like it, but you have to know it can be, and sometimes is, there. This album was, in a word, awesome. Shy of the perfection he achieved with The Blueprint, but awesome nonetheless. Pretty much summed up his entire career, or even his entire life, and so far has proven to really be his farewell to the industry. It's been, what, 2 years since he put out a record? That makes "My 1st Song (very well-titled, being the album's closing track)" sound that much more credible. Not that he really needed the help in the credibility department.

Bruce Springsteen, "Devils & Dust" This one took some time to grow on me. At first, I was very disappointed, hoping for some solid rockin, like that live version of "Youngstown" from the "Live in New York"concert, but this is just a great example of storytelling, and listening to it really gives you the sense that you're sort of travelling America. Bonus points for The Boss earning a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics" tag for a detailed account of a night with a hooker.

Kanye West, The College Dropout His second album that "dropped" this fall, Late Registration, is good, but not nearly as good as his first one. The College Dropout not only flows, but it all makes sense, it sticks with the central theme. It also makes me want to strut when I listen to it while walking down the street. I'm not a fan of the "skits" in most rap albums, because they usually take up space that could be filled with, I don't know, music?, but the skits in this album are not only pretty funny, they help hold it all together at the seams. They are the seams. The skits are the seams of this record. The songs are damn good, too.

Bright Eyes, "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning" This is one of the best albums I've gotten in years. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it might be one of the top 10 or 20 albums that I have ever owned. Conor Oberst is a better songwriter than most people out there who started making records after he was born. I think he's about 25. Yeah, one of the best songwriters of the past 25 years. I think I feel comfortable with that statement. He's in an elite group, and some of the other members are dead, so he really doesn't have much competition. This album effortlessly transports you to New York City and keeps you in good company during your angst-ridden nighttime journey. Bonus points for writing a song about an actual protest rally that caused such a major traffic jam that I actually got stuck in it and missed my bus to Boston one afternoon. That's not something I can say very often, that something immortalized in song, or in film, actually affected me when it happened.

Elliott Smith, From a Basement on a Hill Posthumously released, this record was probably the most artful and beautiful suicide note of all time that was subsequently sold to millions of people. His music was always dark, and his songwriting was always depressingly vivid, and this one's not necessarily any more so (except for "Kings Crossing" which I could listen to over and over and get chills each time - that line, "I can't prepare for death anymore than I already have" - oooohhh), but the fact that there's no way for this to not be his last album makes it seem that much more morbid. His songwriting was largely unrivaled (joined by Oberst and a scant few others) yet sorely underappreciated. If there's an afterlife, Elliott Smith might be hanging out with Kurt Cobain and John Lennon somewhere, but the odds might be better that he's with the likes of Hemmingway, Faulkner, and Twain. He was just that good.

Thanks for letting me ramble. Like I said, if you want to add or subtract from this list, please do so in the comments section. I'll be more than happy to get into this with you.

The Best That Cable Has To Offer

I was watching TV earlier, and checking out what was coming on later tonight, and I came upon this as the description of Chris Rock: Never Scared, on one of the 37 HBO channels:

"The Emmy-winning comic brings his unique brand of edgy humor back to TV. He's expected to riff on sex, drugs, war, class and relationships. (2004) (Comedy)."

Expected to?? It says right there in the description that this show was from 2004. What kind of lazy bastards does Comcast Cable have working for them that they can't even provide a decent description for a show that's over a year old?? Its not like they're being asked to predict what's going to happen on next week's Headline News. It already happened!!

Up next, on ESPN Classic: A replay of the Detroit Pistons/Indiana Pacers game from November 2004. The teams are expected to play a game of basketball, and they will probably do so in a very sportsmanlike manner.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

The other day I got an email forward from my buddy Ziggy. Normally, I'm on record against most forwards, but since he doesn't forward emails very often (or maybe ever?), I checked it out, and let me tell you, this was damn funny. It was so funny that I felt obliged to post it here for your reading pleasure (and b/c I couldn't think of anything else to write about but wanted to write about something). Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...

The Top 31 Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

6. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

8. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

9. The original theme for the Transformers was "Chuck Norris -- more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris -- robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as Texas Ranger who defended the Earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pickup. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

10. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

11. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

14. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

15. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

16. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

17. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

18. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

19. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

20. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

21. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

22. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

23. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

25. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

26. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

27. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademark names for his left and right legs.

28. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

30. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

31.Chuck Norris is immortal.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

Granted, he's a madman, but doesn't just look extra crazy in this picture??



Granted, he's a madman, but doesn't just look extra crazy in this picture??

Every Rose Has Its Horns

Well, about 5 hours or so after I made the last post, Amanda found out that she got 2 tickets to the Rose Bowl through USC's lottery. So, I'M GOING TO THE ROSE BOWL. I don't think it's possible for me to be more excited. I've never been so excited for a sporting event in my life as I am for this. Possibly for anything. This could very well be one of the most hyped college football games of all time, and with good reason. The reason: I'm going. I'M GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I've been numb with excitement for 2 straight days. I can barely get any work done or think about anything else. I thought about wearing burnt orange from now until gameday, but I reconsidered, because I was afraid even I'd be sick of it after a month. So instead, this week I instituted "Texas Mondays." Every Monday from now until game time, I will be wearing some sort of Texas paraphernalia. This town is so in love with USC and Matt Leinart, I'm hoping to shake things up a bit. In theory. I'm theoretically shaking things up.

BRING IT ON

Texas walloped Colorado on Saturday to the tune of 70-3, to win the Big 12 Championship and clinch a spot in the National Championship Rose Bowl game, against USC on January 4. It remains to be seen whether or not I will be able to get a ticket to the game, but rest assured that I am going to do everything in my power, and my powers are substantial.

That said, we are presented with another fabulous opportunity for my semi-annual facial hair growth, which I have presently titled (that's right, I'm giving titles to my facial hair - this is what it's like in LA, I guess) the "Rose Bowl Beard." Needless to say, Amanda's not thrilled, but she'll have to learn to live with this one, at least until January 5, when, win or lose, I will be shaving. But not until then.

Expect a lot of Texas-related posts in the coming weeks, I guess. There's going to be a lot of hype for this game, and I'm not one to go against the grain on such matters. Other matters, maybe, but not this such matter. I think this is what I'll be doing on January 3. If anyone wants to come to LA and join me, please let me know.

Santa Barbara Wining and Dining

Ok, so here's the Santa Barbara recap:

Friday morning after Thanksgiving, Amanda and I set sail (in the car, not in a boat) for Santa Barbara. We figured that, having been together for over 3 years and never taken a vacation together, we were entitled to one.

First stop was the Old Mission Santa Barbara, the "Queen of the Missions." Established in 1786, it was the 10th of the California missions founded by the Spanish Franciscans. The 11th mission was to recover the NOC list and was referred to as "Job 3-14." Many of the mission's buildings were damaged by earthquakes, but were restored in the 1920s and 1950s. The mission had a rose garden on its land, and I've already been made fun of for saying it was beautiful, but you know what? Screw it, it was beautiful, so take that, sucka. Don't believe me, see for yourself.



Friday afternoon we walked around downtown (I think it was downtown), on State Street down by the beach. We had lunch at this Indian restaurant where this jackass at the table next to us was loudly explaining to his son or stepson why his refusal to try new foods was making life hell for everyone. Amanda was getting pissed, but it was a buffet, so if that kid didn't want to eat, it was fine with me. Then we did a little shopping. I picked up INXS's "Listen Like Theives" at a used CD store, and we walked down to the pier and back. While Amanda was shopping for some jewlery, I sat on a bench and waited for her. It wasn't a total loss, though, because Sipowitz walked past me. You haven't lived until you've seen Sipowitz walking down the mean streets of Santa Barbara. Dinner was at Brophy Bros. Seafood, and I had a shark sandwich. A shark sandwich! I felt like such a badass. I don't have a picture of the shark sandwich, but I do have a picture of some bird looking at me.



Saturday was the main event. I am, of course, referring to the U2 cover band we saw that night, but before I get to that, let's talk about all of the wine we drank while touring and tasting at a bunch of vineyards. THIS was fun. First we hit the Fess Parker. Fess Parker used to play Davy Crockett on the big screen, but now he has a vineyard. A pretty good one, too. I bought a bottle of his Frontier Red, mainly because, as Amanda observed, I like the label. Next stop was the Firestone Vineyard, as in Firestone Tires. Brooks Firestone, the grandson of the tire guy, didn't like selling tires, and started a vineyard. Amanda and I liked the Riesling at Firestone, and bought a bottle to drink with our lunch. We lucked out that day, b/c when we showed up for our tour, our tour guide was none other than Mr. Firestone himself. He was pretty funny, and willing to pose for a picture, so here we are.



We also hit the Curtis Winery, which is a sister vineyard to Firestone. They had some good stuff. I liked the Mourvedre (mo-VED), which was some sort of Merlot-based blend. Now, rest assured, I'm not turning into some sort of wine snob. The only difference between me now and me a week ago is that now I know exactly what it is that I can't afford to buy. After Curtis, we went to the Andrew Murray vineyard, which was having an open house and giving tastes of 9 wines instead of the standard 5 or 6, so that was a pretty sweet bonus. They also had finger food, which was a HUGE bonus. After Andrew Murray, we went to the little town of Los Olivos and hit a couple of tasting rooms. I think our favorite was Epiphany. I wanted to buy a t-shirt, but they didn't have the one I liked in my size. We liked the "Revelation" wine they had there, but at over 20 bucks a bottle, that's a prime example of knowing what I can't afford.



We then went next door to the "Mad Dog" tasting room. For 50 cents, we got to drink all the wine we wanted, and we bought a few bottles for around 3 dollars apiece. (That was a joke.)

Los Olivos was really nice, but there wasn't much to do there but drink wine and buy art, and the tasting rooms closed around 5 or so, and I wasn't about to start buying art, so we headed back to Santa Barbara, and we finished our dinner just in time to catch Electrical Storm, the U2 tribute band. Let me tell you, these dudes were hilarious.



You can see from this picture that they were dressed like the band. That's "Bono" and "The Edge" in the picture, I couldn't get "Larry Mullen Jr." and "Adam Clayton" in the shot. Not only did they dress like U2, I'm pretty sure the lead singer actually thought he was Bono. He was speaking in a bad Irish accent all night, and he was even dancing like Bono, bowing down to "the Edge's" guitar during solos. The craziest thing was that the place was packed to the tune of about 75-80% with senior citizens. It was really funny to see them dancing around to music they probably had never heard before, trying not to pop a hip. Hilarity ensued, but that aside, the band was actually pretty good. They really did justice to the songs, playing them pretty well for being a bunch of impostors.

Sunday morning before we came back to LA, we went on a trail ride at the Circle Bar B Ranch. That's right. Horses. It was an hour and a half ride (read: walk) through the mountains, and it was a ton of fun. The scenery was AWESOME. Just sitting on the horse was fun. I felt like I was in City Slickers, except I was wearing a Red Sox cap instead of a Mets cap.

All in all, it was a GREAT weekend, and Amanda and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. If anybody wants to come visit us out here, we'll take you up to wine country. I could definitely go back there once or twice a year. Now, in conclusion, here's a picture of me on my horse, Hershey. Y'all come back now.