Notes From My Couch

(listening to: Handshake Drugs, Wilco)

This is going to be kind of random. I have a few different things I'd like to say, and none of them really relate to each other in any way. Buckle up.

1. R.I.P., Sub Club. If he were so inclined, this is where my friend Micah would "pour one out." It turns out that Subway has discontinued their Sub Club, their "buy 8 get one free" promotion that seemed to last for about 15 years, because too many people have been printing counterfeit Subway stamps and redeeming them for free sandwiches. Is that what our society has been reduced to?? Spending that kind of time and money only to save $6.44 on a foot long club sandwich?? Why aren't these people putting their skills to good use, like establishing an alternate mail carrier to rival, and ultimately take down, the exercise in incompetence that is the United States Postal Service?? It's a good thing this didn't happen until now, because when I was in New York and Jackson, I was logging a free foot-long about every other week. By the way, there's no way that Jared Fogle lost all that weight eating Subway every day, unless he was also throwing it up.

2. NOT the story of A.C. Green. Go see The 40 Year-Old Virgin. Go see it as soon as you finish reading this sentence. Come back and read the rest of this post later, it'll still be here, and you'll be much happier for it. I'm serious. Turn off your computer and get the hell out of here. Amanda and I saw it last night, and it was so funny that I don't even know how to describe how funny it was. That's never happened before, to my knowledge. I can't really say that it was funnier than Wedding Crashers, or Old School, or whatever else it's stacking up against, but I will say this: with Wedding Crashers and Old School, I felt like I could at least describe how funny they were. With Virgin, no chance. I was laughing way too hard throughout the movie to even try.

3. Why do the Red Sox see more unwanted overtime than Wal-Mart employees?? Man alive, just play 9 innings for once!!

4. The Anonymous Lawyer. When I first started reading this, I thought it was kind of funny, but by the time I got through about 3 or 4 posts, I realized that this douchebag is exactly the reason I hate law firms and hate being in law firms. Not just working for law firms, but actually physically being inside law firms. I have encountered way more attorneys who think and act like this guy than those who don't, and I'd have to say that this is probably what's keeping me from really being gung-ho about being one. Would you really want to be associated with people like this??

5. Quick INXS update: My pick to win it all, J.D. Fortune, is not only still alive, but tonight Dave Navarro told him that, "maybe more than anyone else in this competition, you really seem to understand what it takes to front INXS." I love it when I'm right.

That is all.