What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Hopefully.

In the future, when we're all travelling around with jet-packs, will that eliminate the need for cars? If so, then the future will be a much better place, at least for me.

I was going to be shipping my car to Atlanta, since Amanda and I are going to drive hers across the country, and that was going to cost me around $1,100 - $1,200. Then I found out my friend Howard was planning to rent a car and drive from LA to D.C. for his brother's graduation, and he's always wanted to drive cross-country. Coincidentally, it was going to cost him about the same amount to rent the car for a one-way trip. After talking about it for roughly 45 seconds, we decided that he would just drive my car to Atlanta and fly up to D.C., saving us both upwards of $1,000.

Just to be safe, I took my car to the shop last week to have everything checked out. I specifically asked them to check the coolant (note the foreshadowing), since he'd be driving across the desert. They checked it all out and said the engine was fine, but I needed new rear struts and rear tires. $860. Awesome.

So, Howard leaves Tuesday morning. Incidentally, you can read about his drive on this blog he started. Anyway, he calls me from Vegas (VEGAS!!) where he had just finished having lunch with a friend, and the car overheated when he got back on the highway. He immediately pulled off the highway and into a conveniently placed mechanic's parking lot, whereupon the car immediately went dead. Turns out the coolant reserve tank had cracked, overheating the car. Four hours, much stress, and $240 later, Howard was back on the road. Turns out that $1,100 I saved in shipping went right into maintenance. Great. I'm just glad he's ok (and that the car seems to be ok too). He hasn't had any problems since (knock on wood).

As if that wasn't enough, I was on the bus on my way home from work that afternoon, and the bus I was on broke down a little more than halfway home. Everybody had to get off and wait for the next bus to come pick us all up. They were all pretty pissed. I sort of expected it. When it rains, it pours, I guess.

(That's not really my car, in that picture. I just thought it was appropos.)

Anyway, my car will hopefully make it to Atlanta next Thursday, if all goes according to plan. Howard's on his way to see the Giants/Rockies game at Coors Field right now. I told him to start a "Barry Sucks" chant for me.

We Put the Spring in Springfield

Are they talking about the Bordello? No, the burlesque house, keep your voice down!

I guess these things are all over the place, but I was SO excited last night when Amanda and I got to the movie theater with our friend Naomi to see The Year of the Dog (skip it), to find this in the lobby. I immediately ran over to it and handed Amanda my cell phone with a "You have to take my picture!" request. She made some sort of comment about how it's funny that I'm her fiance, because it seemed like I might be her son instead, or something like that. I don't know, I was too excited to sit next to Homer on the couch that I wasn't really processing what she was saying. But I mean, seriously, can you blame me?

Sadly, there was no photo op with Groundskeeper Willie, Krusty, or Moe Szyzlak. That would have been awesome. This Simpsons movie is either going to be awesome or the worst movie of all time. There is no middle ground, I think. Either way, they're gonna get my 10 bucks. This is the summer of "Movies that Make Grown Men Feel Like They're 10 Years Old." Between The Simpsons, Transformers, and Spiderman 3, I'm not sure I know what to do with myself.

I'm Super, Thanks For Asking

USA Today's Pop Candy Blog had a link today to this great website where you can create your own superhero. Naturally, I couldn't resist. I'm pretty sure this is what I'd look like if I were a superhero. Or maybe just did some situps and got a dog and some guns. Either way, I'm quite a badass, and I wouldn't suggest messing with me or my dog.

Reverse the Curse!

It became official today that the new "soon-to-be-injured" NFL star gracing the cover of Madden 2008 is none other than the 2006 Offensive Rookie of the Year, your favorite and mine, Mr. Vincent Paul Young, Jr. Congratulations to Vince, and condolences to the Tennessee Titans. After losing Pacman Jones for the entirety of the 2007 season, the Titans must be wondering what they have done to have the future of their franchise put in this kind of jeopardy. I'm sure Clay Travis will have something to say about this in the next day or two, seeing as how he's got almost as big of a man-crush on VY as I do.

For those of you out there who might not be familiar with the "Madden Curse," (Mom, Dad, I'm talking to you), just about every single player who has been on the cover of this game has gone ahead and gotten himself injured in the very next season. Most notably, Daunte Culpepper and Donovan McNabb, and most recently, former league MVP Shaun Alexander. Even Indianapolis Tight End Dallas Clark, who was merely featured in a television commercial for the game, was injured in his very next game against Philadelphia, which, incidentally, was the team he was playing against in the commercial. Weird stuff, I'm telling you. Bad mojo. Mess you up, man.

I have to agree with my buddies over at 40 Acre Sports in that it would have been nice to see someone like T.O. slated for injury instead of VY, though. However, as Burnt Orange Nation pointed out this morning, VY knows a thing or two about breaking streaks. Just check last year's Rose Bowl, which ended USC's 34-game win streak.

That computer generated image looks pretty badass, I have to admit. It kind of looks like Vince is about to start breathing fire and shooting lasers out of his eyes. While running 90 yards for a touchdown. Which, if he did in real life, wouldn't really surprise me too much.

When I was in 7th grade, I bought a Nintendo Entertainment System. The original one, not the super one, or anything remotely advanced. That's the last game system I have ever owned, and until this morning, I hadn't given any thought whatsoever to buying a new one. Unfortunately, this being Tax Day and all, I'm still not. But maybe if I'm a good boy all year, Hannukah Harry might bring me an X-Box instead of the 8 pairs of socks I'm probably already on the list to receive.

April 18 Update: I'm a genius.

Worst. Fortune. Ever.

So I'm having a decent Friday morning, it's sunny out and I had a good cup of coffee, and as the day progresses, I decide I'm going to go pick up some crappy Chinese food from Panda Express for lunch. What the hell, I'll hit the gym this weekend. I get all the way through my meal and find this waiting for me in my fortune cookie:



If you can't read it in that picture, the fortune says, "A photo doesn't capture your charm."

Oh, yeah? Well, fuck you!

Seriously, that is the worst fortune I have ever seen in a fortune cookie. I don't need a "You will unexpectedly come into a great sum of money" every time I crack one open, but I certainly don't need this kind of abuse. I'm just glad I didn't catch a "Next time try a salad" or "The SAT was much easier when you took it than it is now" or some other uplifting mantra for me to dwell on all weekend. I've got something for the folks at Panda Express, and their fortune cookie department:



How's that for captured charm, you bastards?

4-8-15-16-23-42

Mac and Bryant and I went over to The Standard for some drinks after work yesterday. I'd been there a few times - expensive drinks, but a really cool decor. It's on the rooftop of the hotel, and Amanda once saw a couple having sex in one of the waterbed pods they have around the pool. Yes, they have a pool in the rooftop bar. Anyway, I'm not sure this picture came out so well, but we saw Josh Holloway (Sawyer from Lost) there having drinks with some folks. Maybe my last celebrity sighting? Amanda was upset she wasn't there. This makes 3 of the "castaways" I've seen out here, though the first I've been able to get a picture of. I saw Terry O'Quinn (Locke) driving a Lexus on Olympic Blvd, and I saw Naveen Andrews (Sayid) driving his sweet jet black Porsche in Beverly Hills. I'm still on the lookout for Jorge Garcia (Hurley), I figure he'd probably be pretty tough to miss.

LA Proved Too Much for the Man

I'm going back to find (going back to find) a simpler place and time.

Amanda and I are really excited about the fact that we're moving to Atlanta this summer. Our time in California is coming to a close in about 6 weeks. I'll have more on this later, but since it just became official yesterday, I wanted to go ahead and mention it (since nothing feels real to me until I post it on these here internets).

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have some "leaving LA" related posts in the coming weeks, maybe some sort of LA good/bad lists, etc., but since it's now official that we are leaving LA for Atlanta, here's a combo playlist of "Songs About Georgia and Songs About Leaving Los Angeles."

1. Midnight Train to Georgia - Gladys Knight & the Pips
2. Not California - Hem
3. Georgia on My Mind - Ray Charles
4. Say Goodbye to Hollywood - Billy Joel
5. The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
6. Goodnight Hollywood Boulevard - Ryan Adams
7. The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia - Vicki Lawrence
8. 405 - Death Cab for Cutie
9. Going Back to Georgia - Nancy Griffith
10. Goodnight LA - Counting Crows
11. Sweet Georgia Brown - Brother Bones & His Shadows
12. California One/Youth & Beauty Brigade - The Decemberists
13. Macon, Georgia County Line - Whiskeytown
14. Pacific Ocean Blues - Dennis Wilson
15. Georgia Peaches - Lynyrd Skynyrd
16. California Dreamin' - The Mamas & The Papas

Good enough for now. Back with more later.

Greg Oden Says, "iPod, shmiPod, Turn That Noise Down!"

Look at this guy. There's no way he's the same age as other college freshmen; that is an assertion I cannot accept. Greg Oden is basically the equivalent of the real-life Thornton Mellon, though in infinitely better shape. Honestly, I think his kids might have grown up with my dad, but I can't be sure.

Anyway, in honor of Mr. Greg Oden and his evident defiance of the normal aging process, I present The Definitive Greg Oden iPod Playlist. Back in his day, iTunes downloads only cost a nickel!

I would like to wish Mr. Oden luck this weekend in the Final Four against Georgetown, and again (hopefully) on Monday in the NCAA Finals. I'd like to see him win a championship in his lifetime, and he sure ain't getting any younger (looking). I hope he plays two incredible games, Ohio State wins the whole thing, and people everywhere are in agreement that he will absolutely be the first pick in the NBA draft. Then maybe Kevin Durant will stay in school another year. We all have dreams.

The Definitive Greg Oden iPod Playlist
1. Neil Young, Old Man
2. The Beatles, When I'm Sixty-four
3. Frank Sinatra, The September of My Years
4. Garth Brooks, I'm Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old)
5. Jimi Hendrix, Mannish Boy
6. Wilco, When You Wake Up Feeling Old
7. Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks at Forty
8. Jethro Tull, Too Old to Rock & Roll, Too Young to Die
9. Bon Jovi, Just Older
10. Elton John, Sixty Years On
11. Beastie Boys, Boomin' Granny
12. Of Montreal, I Was Never Young

The Notebook. Yes, That Notebook.

The following was taken directly from an email I sent to a friend earlier today. The pictures were added here.

last night i got to watch a movie i've been really excited to see for a long time (sarcasm alert! sarcasm alert!), the notebook. wow. i'll be honest, it was a sweet story, it was a really sweet story. but not that great of a movie. have you seen this? the music alone is completely hilarious, like they thought to themselves "how can we make this sort of cheesy scene one million times cheesier, and also hilarious in the process?" they succeeded. but, it was a very nice story, though.

seriously, though, if this movie were made 10 years ago, it would have been reese witherspoon and ryan phillipe in the starring roles. instead we get rachel mcadams, who is the poor man's witherspoon (nothing beats a real southerner, especially when playing one in a movie) and ryan gosling, who in this movie bore a striking resemblance to "mac" the piano-playing moon from the old mcdonald's "it's mac tonight" commercials. he must have the longest face in hollywood. i mean physically long, not sad-looking.

and how about the guy who plays the guy who loses rachel mcadams back to her long lost love, the man in the moon? played by none other than what's his name, the same guy who played "guy who lois lane marries in the new superman even though she's really in love with superman", and you might also know him as "guy who famke janssen dates in x-men even though she really seems to like hugh jackman and his muttonchop sideburns much better." talk about typecasting. yikes.

but i think the funniest part was the handlebar mustache on rachel mcadams's dad. i kept waiting for him to put on a pinstriped vest and rejoin his barbershop quartet. (Sadly, I could not find a picture of this mustache.)

but let me reiterate. in all seriousness, the movie did have a very sweet story. and a great handlebar mustache.

Longhorns, Goats, Ponies, and a Man from Iowa

Funny story before I get into the Longhorns' post-season and the Mountain Goats show I saw last night. My buddy Jeremy was in town this weekend from D.C., he works for Senator Tom Harkin of Iowa, planning and arranging fundraising events. I call him Josh Lyman. Anyway, we went out Saturday night for dinner and drinks with some friends, and as he gets into the car he says to me, "How'd you like to be Charlie Young tomorrow?" Turns out he wanted to return the rental car early so he and the Senator wouldn't have to sit and wait for the shuttle, which would buy them a little more time in getting ready to leave LA. So, because I'm such a good friend, and because I've never had a United States Senator in my 626, I accepted his proposition.

Nice guy, that Senator Harkin. Seemed thoroughly confused when I told him I drafted him on my Fantasy Congress team, though he was concerned enough to ask who else was on the team and if there was anything he could do to help. I was excited to tell him that so far, he was the first member of my fantasy congress team who's ever been in my car. So far.

Now, on to more pressing issues. Texas has played some of the best (and worst) basketball I've seen over the past week and a half. It seems they can't put 2 halves of great basketball into the same game. In our last regular season game a week ago, we jumped out to an improbable 12 point lead over #3 Kansas at halftime, only to crap the bed and allow 22 points in the first 4 minutes of the second half and lose by 6. Then against Baylor, in our first Big 12 Tournament game, we were ice cold in the first half (even soon-to-be-player-of-the-year Kevin Durant only had 4 points), but overcame a 20 point deficit in the second half to win it, behind Durant's 24 second half points. I guess the Oklahoma State game the next day was somewhat complete, though it wasn't like we didn't try to throw it away once or twice. Luckily for us, we got to meet Kansas again in the conference finals (this time they were #2), and again, we jumped out to an amazing 21 point lead in the first half (KD started the game with our first 13 points, and he had over 20 in the first half, finishing with 37 for the game), but let them right back into it before halftime, and ultimately we just ran out of gas and lost in OT by 4 points. Durant had 0 points in the final minutes of the game, and 0 in OT. Inexcusable.

Anyway, we drew a 4 seed in the NCAA Tournament, which I think is robbery - there's no way Washington State is better than us from a mediocre Pac-10 conference (not even making the finals), and there's absolutely no way Pittsburgh is better than us coming off of a 30-plus point blowout loss to Georgetown over the weekend. Even Texas A&M got a 3 seed, and we beat them in double OT last week, and they didn't even make the SEMI-finals of the conference tournament, a tournament that I might have mentioned in the last paragraph that we only lost in our 3rd overtime game in our last 5 games. The only silver lining, for me at least, is that if all goes well, we will play USC in the second round, and you know how I love it when my Horns stick it to those Trojans. I'm picking us to win it all. What can I say, I'm a dreamer.

Jeremy (not the one who works for Harkin) and I went to see the Mountain Goats last night at the El Rey. They were awesome. I mean awesome. Neola saw them recently in Portland, and after reading her comments on the show, I was even more excited to see them. We were impressed. I need to get ahold of some of their earlier stuff, b/c they played a lot of it last night and I was a fan of it all. The opening band was this group of 4 girls from Montreal called Pony Up. I think they might have been 14 years old. Nothing on their Wikipedia page to confirm or disconfirm that. Either way, they were young, and sort of a junior version of Sleater-Kinney. They really had the crowd behind them from the get-go, and everybody seemed kind of sad when their set ended. Luckily they all came back out during a Mountain Goats encore to sing backup vocals on a cover of Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back in Town." Aside from the dude standing in front of me who kept backing up slowly, like a glacier, until I was at least 2 feet away from where I started, who kept running his hands through his hair, scaring the crap out of me because I was convinced there was stuff falling all over me (this dude was too close), it was a great show and a great experience.

I didn't write down their setlist (sorry, Andy), mainly because I don't know enough of their songs to know what was being played all the time. If you're interested, I can tell you that "Dance Music," "This Year," "Lion's Teeth," and "Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod" were all played.