Worst. Fortune. Ever.
So I'm having a decent Friday morning, it's sunny out and I had a good cup of coffee, and as the day progresses, I decide I'm going to go pick up some crappy Chinese food from Panda Express for lunch. What the hell, I'll hit the gym this weekend. I get all the way through my meal and find this waiting for me in my fortune cookie:
If you can't read it in that picture, the fortune says, "A photo doesn't capture your charm."
Oh, yeah? Well, fuck you!
Seriously, that is the worst fortune I have ever seen in a fortune cookie. I don't need a "You will unexpectedly come into a great sum of money" every time I crack one open, but I certainly don't need this kind of abuse. I'm just glad I didn't catch a "Next time try a salad" or "The SAT was much easier when you took it than it is now" or some other uplifting mantra for me to dwell on all weekend. I've got something for the folks at Panda Express, and their fortune cookie department:
How's that for captured charm, you bastards?
5 comments:
Nice hat
I once got a fortune that said, "Be careful with your finances."
That's not a fortune; that's unsolicited advice.
Oh! And I found a Famina! when I was in NY and stopped in -- very awesome for that lunch or snack on the go. I was impressed.
bens, this is why we stay away from the express.
How to burn off that Chinese food Dorfman-style:
10am - arrive at gym.
10:01-10:07 - make sure your shirt is correctly front tucked.
10:07-10:12 - go up to 3 different people on 3 different machines and ask "Yo man, you about done with this."
10:12-10:20 - mess with your IPod trying to come with a playlist of only songs containing the word "gym" in them.
10:20-10:33 - Make sure everyone is watching you while you put on your workout gloves and maybe even reverse your UT hat.
10:33 - 10:39 - Find an open treadmill, spend the next 6 minutes adjusting the tv in front of the treadmill to find an OC re-run on the WB.
10:39 - 10:40 - run on treadmill.
10:40-10:45 - cool down walk while making loud "wooo" sounds and saying "man!" while looking around the gym.
10:45 - head back home after a hard workout.
Calories burned - 6.
I've rarely seen such anger and vitriol over a fortune cookie. I admire it. Seriously; who is sit-in-dark-room-coming-up-with-fortune-cookie-fortunes guy to call you ugly?
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