Deadly Sins: One Down, Six to Go

I think we've got gluttony pretty well covered after last night's trip to the "am/pm All You Can Eat Pavilion." This was seriously the most disgusting display of eating I have seen or been a part of that did not involve either hazing or some sort of organized competition won by a 78 pound Japanese man. Our unofficial competition was won by Joshua Barkin, who is neither Japanese, nor 78 pounds. I thought about falsifying my eating accomplishments, and when I mentioned this to Josh, he said "Not me. I want the world to know what I did." So, here are our official unofficial tallies:

Jason: 4 Dodger Dogs, 2-3 Nachos, 2-3 Cokes, some peanuts and a mini Baby Ruth bar.

Ben: 5 Dodger Dogs, 2-3 Nachos, 2 Cokes, 2 Sprites, and some peanuts.

Josh: 8 (EIGHT!!) Dodger Dogs, 3 Nachos, 4 Diet Cokes (b/c he's watching his calorie intake), some peanuts, 5 mini Baby Ruth Bars, and a Bud Light. That's him with his 8th, emerging victorious from the concession line.

Impressive, to say the least. It is worth noting that probably 75% of what we ate happened before the game even started. There's something sort of liberating about walking past the concession stand before you've even gotten to your seats, and picking up 2 Dodger Dogs and a thing of nachos without standing in line or exchanging any money whatsoever.

It was somewhere around Dodger Dog #3 that I started saying things like, "Do you think a 30 year old has ever had a heart attack?" and "You know what would have been perfect? If I had gotten a tapeworm yesterday." Jason also had what was probably the line of the night when he looks at Josh and me with a completely straight face and says, "Ok, serious question. Do you think Kobayashi shits solid or liquid?"

There were also some wildly entertaining exchanges involving one of the guys sitting behind us. Here are two of my favorites:


Guy #1 (sees his friend walking down the aisle): Hey, man!
Friend: What's up, dog. Did you work today or what?
Guy #1: No, man, I got fired!

Then they slapped hands and his friend went to his seat. Here was another good one, shortly after the Baby Ruth guys started throwing mini Baby Ruth bars to everyone in the section (Josh already had a pocketful from when we saw them by the concession stand):

Guy #1 (seeing a bunch of mini Baby Ruth bars on the ground in front of us): Hey, man, get those Baby Ruth bars!
Josh: I already have a bunch of them, why do I need more?
Guy #1: I don't know, to throw them at people!
Josh: Who am I going to throw them at?
Guy #1: I don't know, anybody!
Josh: It's not that fun, you know.

All in all, it was an excellent time. I would probably never want to do it again, though. I think I'm still burping up pieces of food.