Are You Ready For Some Football??

(listening to: Emergency 72, Turin Brakes)

Ok, so I just dropped Jeff off at LAX, so I guess it's time to post highlights of the Road Trip. I'll get to that in a bit.

We'll start with a recap of last weekend, a/k/a the Chicken & Waffles Fantasy Football Draft 2005.



The weekend started off great, which is to say that my car made it from Jackson to Gulfport without dying and with A/C in tact. Lenny, Harold and I met Jeff, Tommy and the Wolf at the airport and headed down to the Isle of Capri Casino, where we had miraculously scored a free room for the weekend. Unfortunately, the room had one bed. For 4 of us. Looks like we'd have some serious introspection to do.

We headed downstairs to meet up with Briley (fantasy owner and procurer of afforementioned free room) at this bar, and on the way out of the casino, the Wolf made good on his promise of putting $100 on black at the roulette table as soon as we got there. He figured it would be a good indicator of how the weekend would be. We figured he was insane. 30 seconds later, and $100 richer, the Wolf followed us outside and we made our way through what looked like the Field of Dreams (post plowing, pre-baseball diamond) to meet up with Briley, who evidently had already started submarining his chances of having a successful draft on Saturday, as he was about 10 sheets to the wind when we got there. We hung there for awhile, then went back to the boat, where the Wolf and Tommy (who have about the same level of gambling addiction) proceeded to kick off their weekend of inverse results at the blackjack tables. Harold and I decided to steer clear of the "high stakes" action and sit at the bar playing video poker, scoring a few free drinks in the process. After about 3 hours, I had broken even on my $5 investment, with a couple rounds of Budweiser to show for profit. We followed this up with (of course) a late night Waffle House appearance, where Briley paid for our food since he had won a little cash at the tables. Jeff and I hit the sack around 5:30 in the morning, leaving Tommy and the Wolf downstairs and securing ourselves either side of the king size bed in the room.

The next day we had lunch at O'Charley's on our way to Tommy's parents' house for our draft. I had the chicken tenders, in case you were wondering. Everyone else had the French Dip. I stand by my decision.

The draft went well, everyone seemed fairly pleased with their squad. Everyone also seemed fairly pleased with the fact that even though Briley picked up Peyton Manning with the first pick in the draft, after what certainly amounted to an unhealthy amount of alcohol the night before, he somehow also managed to draft the rest of the Colts team, as well as Tim Brown, who is retired. After that, we played a 7-man no-limit Texas Hold 'Em tournament, dubbed the MSOP (Mississippi Series Of Poker) by the Wolf, which Tommy won. I placed third. No money for third. Then back over to the boat so our friends could get their fix. Interestingly enough, instead of our usual late night Waffle House, that night we had late night sushi in the casino. I guess the times, they are a-changing.

Jeff and the Wolf and I hung around until Monday morning, and before we dropped Tommy off at the airport Sunday afternoon, we played another little poker match, which I won, but, alas, no bracelet, as it was not an official MSOP sponsored event.

We'll get to the Road Trip another time, maybe later today. Right now, I need to go shave this mustache.

Here I Am, Rock You Like A Hurricane

(watching: The Simpsons)

I live in Los Angeles. (That looks as strange in print as it feels in real life.)

Jeff and I got in last night. This is a crazy place, man. The traffic is sort of killing me, but the weather is just unbelievable. In other news, I shaved my beard, but I left the mustache, just so I can feel like a 70's porn star for a day. Meine dispatcher sent me to fix the cahble, ich bein expert.

I'll post details of the road trip, as well as a recap of our fantasy football draft and some choice pictures of Joshua Tree National Park, later, when the fact that I live in Los Angeles is freaking me out a little less.

I Met Her in a Club Down in Old SoHo...

(listening to: Waltz #2, Elliott Smith)

A man named Samukeliso Sithole was recently sentenced to 3.5 years in a Zimbabwean prison for masquerading as a woman while competing in international sporting events. Check it out here.

Wow.

Evidently, his bruised ego just couldn't take not bringing home any medals in the men's tournaments, so he took the most logical step, in order to preserve his dignity: PRETEND TO BE A WOMAN.

Are we going to see a similar penalty imposed upon Tom Cruise for masquerading as someone who is sane??

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

(listening to: Fight For Your Right, Beastie Boys)

So, this is just an excellent article on a topic that really doesn't get enough airtime: the Man-Hug. I really have nothing to add here, it's just that good.

Although, it does leave itself open for a sequel of sorts, that being the topic of the High-Five and its variations. I have a feeling that after driving from Jackson to Los Angeles with Jeff in 2 weeks, I'll have enough field research to write a book on the subject.

David Bowie, You Magnificent Bastard

(listening to: Absolute Beginners, David Bowie)

This is just an incredible song. I can't believe I have never heard it before tonight.

I've nothing much to offer
There’s nothing much to take
I’m an absolute beginner
And I’m absolutely sane
As long as we’re together
The rest can go to hell
I absolutely love you
But we’re absolute beginners
With eyes completely open
But nervous all the same

If our love song
Could fly over mountains
Could laugh at the ocean/sail over heartaches second time
Just like the films
There’s no reason
To feel all the hard times
To lay down the hard lines
It’s absolutely true

Nothing much could happen
Nothing we can’t shake
Oh we’re absolute beginners
With nothing much at stake
As long as you’re still smiling
There’s nothing more
I needI absolutely love you
But we’re absolute beginners
But if my love is your love
We’re certain to succeed

If our love song
Could fly over mountains
Could laugh at the ocean/sail over heartaches second time
Just like the films
There’s no reason
To feel all the hard times
To lay down the hard lines
It's absolutely true

One Toke Over the Line??

(Listening to: I Got You, Wilco)

Looks like New York and Chicago aren't the most pot-friendly places to be.

Marijuana flavored candy?? This probably won't help the kettle's inferiority complex.