We Put the Spring in Springfield

Are they talking about the Bordello? No, the burlesque house, keep your voice down!

I guess these things are all over the place, but I was SO excited last night when Amanda and I got to the movie theater with our friend Naomi to see The Year of the Dog (skip it), to find this in the lobby. I immediately ran over to it and handed Amanda my cell phone with a "You have to take my picture!" request. She made some sort of comment about how it's funny that I'm her fiance, because it seemed like I might be her son instead, or something like that. I don't know, I was too excited to sit next to Homer on the couch that I wasn't really processing what she was saying. But I mean, seriously, can you blame me?

Sadly, there was no photo op with Groundskeeper Willie, Krusty, or Moe Szyzlak. That would have been awesome. This Simpsons movie is either going to be awesome or the worst movie of all time. There is no middle ground, I think. Either way, they're gonna get my 10 bucks. This is the summer of "Movies that Make Grown Men Feel Like They're 10 Years Old." Between The Simpsons, Transformers, and Spiderman 3, I'm not sure I know what to do with myself.

The Notebook. Yes, That Notebook.

The following was taken directly from an email I sent to a friend earlier today. The pictures were added here.

last night i got to watch a movie i've been really excited to see for a long time (sarcasm alert! sarcasm alert!), the notebook. wow. i'll be honest, it was a sweet story, it was a really sweet story. but not that great of a movie. have you seen this? the music alone is completely hilarious, like they thought to themselves "how can we make this sort of cheesy scene one million times cheesier, and also hilarious in the process?" they succeeded. but, it was a very nice story, though.

seriously, though, if this movie were made 10 years ago, it would have been reese witherspoon and ryan phillipe in the starring roles. instead we get rachel mcadams, who is the poor man's witherspoon (nothing beats a real southerner, especially when playing one in a movie) and ryan gosling, who in this movie bore a striking resemblance to "mac" the piano-playing moon from the old mcdonald's "it's mac tonight" commercials. he must have the longest face in hollywood. i mean physically long, not sad-looking.

and how about the guy who plays the guy who loses rachel mcadams back to her long lost love, the man in the moon? played by none other than what's his name, the same guy who played "guy who lois lane marries in the new superman even though she's really in love with superman", and you might also know him as "guy who famke janssen dates in x-men even though she really seems to like hugh jackman and his muttonchop sideburns much better." talk about typecasting. yikes.

but i think the funniest part was the handlebar mustache on rachel mcadams's dad. i kept waiting for him to put on a pinstriped vest and rejoin his barbershop quartet. (Sadly, I could not find a picture of this mustache.)

but let me reiterate. in all seriousness, the movie did have a very sweet story. and a great handlebar mustache.

29 Days 'Till Ricky Bobby

Some public service announcements from your favorite NASCAR driver and mine, Ricky Bobby.

Freakin' Awesome!

Go see it. More on this subject later, I'm exhausted.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane...

I'm pretty excited about this new Superman movie coming out. I get excited about movies. I just saw a commercial for a movie about crossword puzzles, and I practically jumped off the couch, I was so excited. But it's the comic book movies that really get me going, which is weird b/c I never really got into comic books as a kid, and I'm not into them now. I just love the comic book movies, and I always have. Batman, Spiderman, X-Men, what have you. But Superman is, as they say, the Grandaddy of Them All.

Superman is just head and shoulders above the rest of the gang, not just in terms of powers (he can fly, for Pete's sake), but also in terms of interest and marketability. People talk about Superman all the time. I really enjoyed David Carradine's Superman soliloquy in Kill Bill 2, but what I saw today was much more interesting, in terms of Superman's influence on social commentary, and vice versa.

I read two articles online today about the new Superman movie, one insinuating that Superman is gay, and another comparing Superman to Jesus Christ. How is that even possible?? If that isn't proof positive that EVERYBODY feels somehow connected to this icon, I don't know what is.

Now back to this crossword puzzle movie. What's an 8-letter word for "movie that makes Ben Dorfman excited to an embarassing degree"?? WORDPLAY. In select theaters now. Starts Friday in Los Angeles and the rest of the country.

CAN YOU DIG IT??

Well, the Red Sox are down 2 games to the White Sox in a best of 5 series, which doesn't bode well, however, they did come back last year against the Yankees and win 4 in a row, and they did come back against the A's 2 years ago and win 3 in a row, so I guess they're not out of it yet. I can guarantee you that on Friday afternoon, between the hours of 1:19 p.m., PST (why do baseball games start at the most ass-backward times??) and 4:19-ish, I will be virtually unavailable on my cell phone. Please, Andrea, if you're reading this, don't call me then. Any other time is great, but not then.

Andrea, my sister, who has proven herself the smartest of the three of us by moving to Maui 4 years ago and almost never looking back, has quite a history of jinxing sporting events for me. The most egregious example of this happened back in the Spring of 1998 - I was a senior in college and she a freshman, and Ole Miss was playing Valparaiso in the NCAA tournament. We (the Rebs) were up by 4 with like 0:48 left in the game, when Andrea calls me and says something to the effect of, "They're gonna win, they're gonna win!!"

I immediately yelled at her for taunting the Sports Gods, told her in no uncertain terms (which she repeatedly ignores) to NEVER do that again, and hung up the phone, in the hopes of making amends for my younger sister's transgression. The Sports Gods were not swayed by my ex post facto loyalty, and following this, SEC Player of the Year Ansu Sesay missed four straight free-throws, including two with 0:04 left on the clock, Ole Miss up by two. Valpo then inbounds the ball to Bryce Drew (son of coach Homer Drew - DOH!), and he dribbles almost the length of the floor and hits a 3-pointer at the buzzer to win the game. Normally, since that fateful day, I try not to answer Andrea's calls during big games. She's got uncanny timing.

Anyway, she called again today, in the 5th inning, Red Sox up 4-2, and I was excited to hear from her, momentarily forgetting my "No Calls From Andrea During Big Games" rule, and answered the phone. "Hey!" I said, to which she responded, "Hey, how are you??" to which I responded, "SHIT!" because it was at that exact moment that Tadahito Iguchi of the White Sox hit a three-run homer to put the Pale Hose ahead 5-4, which remained the score until the end of the game.

I only have myself to blame.


If there is anything, however, that could make me feel better about the Sox loss today, it is this:

The Warriors - The Ultimate Director's Cut (you're gonna have to scroll down just a bit after you click on this to get the full effect)

Came out yesterday, and I just found out about it. I'm getting numb just thinking about it. All new special features, behind the scenes stuff, the works. I don't think there is any commentary track, but I could be wrong, and who really cares anyway. All I can say is, Neola, Tommy, Karen, Brandy, Robert, Mac, you get yourselves to Los Angeles, and I mean right quick.

Be lookin' good, Warriors. All the way back to Coney. You hear me babies? Good.